Giant Sheep Attack (a news story I wrote for one of Victoria's classes)

In tonight's top story, giant sheep have overrun Worksop causing panic and terror among residents. Sheep, some as high as twenty feet tall and thirty feet long, have been sighted stampeding down Gateway and Valley Roads, crushing any cars and pedestrians in their path. Witnesses said the sheep were ravenous, eating anything green they could find. One despondent resident said, “One sheep swallowed the tree in my front garden in one bite. Then it turned to my sister and gobbled her up too, just because she was wearing a green jumper. Our whole family is devastated.”

To find answers as to why these sheep may be attacking, we've consulted an expert in giant sheep, Professor Jane Gibbons from Sheffield Hallam University. She said that sheep this size have not been seen in over twenty years, since a similar attack in 1984 in Stoke. She theorized that the giant sheep may have been hiding in the Peak District for the last two decades, living off the vegetation.

Professor Gibbons told us that “Sheep, much like sharks, are only known to attack humans when food is scarce. It seems likely that these sheep have eaten all the grass in the Peak District and are in search of better pastures, quite literally.”

For these sheep, it does seem the grass is greener on the other side. Listeners should be aware that police are asking everyone to stay inside their houses and avoid wearing green if possible. In addition, Worksop Football Club has issued a notice that future matches may have to be postponed due to a large “present” left at Sandy Lane by one of the sheep.

We came back from New York on Monday morning. Luckily I had all day Tuesday to try to get back on schedule. I'll write more about our trip later.

I went back to work on Wednesday, but Victoria was lucky enough to have the whole week off school. Work was fairly relaxing as there weren't many people around due to the short week. I had some time to think through some of the projects I am involved in.

Today I went to a football game (soccer for my fellow Americans) for the first time in England. I won some free tickets last summer in a charity raffle at work. Victoria wasn't keen on going with me, so I invited anyone from the office who wanted to go. The only interested party was Ellie, one of the students who works for me. She had never been to a game either and was a bit curious what it would really be like, as she doesn't like watching it on the TV. We went to see Sheffield Wednesday, which is the worse of the two Sheffield teams (at least this year). They are third from the bottom of their league, and the team they were playing was Stoke City, the best team in the league, so I was a bit worried they would get creamed.

I took the tram to the game, and it ended up being packed full of fans by the time we got there. We even had a police car and a police van escort the tram from the city center down to the stadium. There were police everywhere to avoid any fighting between rival fans. The opposing teams' fans mostly came on a few buses, which were escorted by police motorcycles just like dignitaries in the movies. Eventually I found Ellie near the gates, and we went to find our seats. It turns out the seats were really good. We were on the 17th row from the bottom, and right near the middle of the field, so we could see all the action on both sides. It was raining pretty heavily and the field quickly turned into mud, which made for some sloppy playing on both sides. I think we may have come out the better for it though.

The other team had two yellow cards in the first half, because they were playing a bit rough. I thought one guy was going to get thrown out of the game, as he already had a yellow card, but the ref just gave him a warning in the end. In the second half there were fewer penalties in general. Stoke scored after about 30 minutes, which was not good. There was a penalty kick just inside midfield and they took it quite quickly, which left the defense struggling to get back. I think some of the Sheffield players were still trying arguing the call. A Stoke player shot the ball towards the goal but wide, and one of their other players just nipped it with the back of his foot, which caused it to go right in the far corner. It happened quite quickly and wasn't your typical sort of shot. In the second half, the game turned into the equivalent of fast breaks in basketball. There was little play at the midfield, with each team rushing the ball down to the other goal. Sheffield seemed to get down to the other goal and then not know what to do, just kick the ball around until the other team got it. Eventually we got a lucky break, and the ball got deflected to one of our guys who was wide open on the left side (near where we were sitting). He drove down, crossed to the middle and shot it right in the goal. It was a pretty impressive goal, and the place went wild. The rest of the game was pretty nerve wracking, as they really needed at least a tie to try to keep their hopes alive. The last three teams in the league get sent down to an even lower league. They really don't want to be one of those three teams, but are currently in that group. A tie helps a little at least, though a win is best obviously.

I think it was a pretty good result, given the other team is supposed to be much better. Also, their players generally seemed faster and taller than ours, so we got beaten running for the ball and heading a lot. Sheffield has a pretty short team except for the defenders who are all decently tall.

We're off to New York on Monday for a week, so we are both enjoying not having to do lots of work right now. Victoria gets a two week holiday for Easter, and my classes are pretty much done as far as readings and discussion. I still have to do the two final assignments for my courses, but the day-to-day side of things has eased up some. I'm allocated some time to write papers and do independent research as part of my job. I'm using a large chunk of this time between when we come back from New York and when the final two papers are due (mid-April), so that should allow me to do the final assignments without going completely crazy. It will be nice when they have both finished completely. For my info lit course, I got back the assignment I did over my birthday. I was very happy to get a 75, which on the UK scale is pretty much out of 80. I need at least a 25 to pass my final assignment in that course, which I am sure to be able to do. Of course, I'm not shooting for the minimum.

Today we have done a big spring clean of the house, which has lasted about 4 hours actually. There is still a bit more to do tomorrow too. It coincides with Victoria's friend Sarah coming over tomorrow night, as she is going to New York with us. It's always good to clean when someone comes to stay, and to have it clean before we go away (plus when we have a bit of a break).

Last weekend we went to a tiny town near Oxford for Tom's christening. Tom is Victoria's second oldest sister's (Gillian's) baby. He is about a year old now, and very cute. At Christmas he wasn't that interested in me, but he really stared at me a lot this time. He even called me 'da da' at one point, though he did seem to call a lot of things 'da da'. The service was in a tiny church which was really cute, and full of tiny children running around during the service. The minister seemed quite nice and seemed to like the children running around the aisles. There was a reception across the street at the school that Gillian is headmistress of. We had tons of food and had a great time playing with all the children. There was a particularly long game of keep away between me, Victoria, and Richard (Victoria's brother) and Victoria's nieces. We stayed at a bed and breakfast in an old farmhouse, along with Victoria's parents and Robin and Enid (who are long time friends of Victoria's parents). I got along really well with Enid: she was really funny.

I went to the hospital for a specialist appointment on Monday. On my right foot is a lump of bone near one of the joints which is causing me pain when I walk. I've had it since I was in high school, but it is starting to hurt more, so I thought surgery might be a good option. The hospital was a bit confusing, as I got sent to about four different departments during my visit (X-ray, Orthopedist, Nursing, and Orthotist (the one who makes footwear)). Everyone was very friendly and nice, but it did take about 2.5 hours, which I was not expecting. The hospital is in desperate need of renovation too, as the chair covers are falling apart and the paint was cracking on the walls. It seems like a lot of NHS buildings are like that in Sheffield. I think more money probably needs to be put into renovating the facilities.

Unfortunately immigrants like myself are apparently putting the strain on the hospitals, according to the media. In fact, a nurse told me that while I was there. I did point out that many immigrants like myself do pay NHS taxes, but I don't think she was thinking of me as an immigrant, which is quite interesting. I've been in other situations like that where people forget that I am an immigrant. I think because I speak English and am able to integrate a bit more into the culture, I am not seen as an immigrant to some people. There's a lot of demonization of immigrants in the media as many people from Eastern Europe have moved to Britain to work. However, it seems like many of them take the undesirable jobs in the same way that Latino immigrants do in the US, so it seems mostly like rhetoric to me.